Losing dominance and privilege is NOT losing rights.

On politics: Who passed those laws allowing women to evict their husbands? The female majority in congress?

On Entertainment: Who write and produce the shows that depict men as pigs? The wealthy females controlling the entertainment industry? Who watches these shows? The overwhelming amounts of women who like to see men farting and talking about beer and breasts?

Perhaps if more men asserted themselves as smart, kind-hearted, and mature (like old hollywood?) the industry execs would notice that “Gee, ‘Journey to Boobland’ didn’t get as high a viewership among males as we hoped… maybe they want to see themselves as more intelligent.” It worked with women… we raised a stink about being the lackey, the dopey blonde, or the flat love interest. Now we are almost ALWAYS in a humorless, kill-joy “mom” role to our doofus men — basically being seen as the ‘mature one’ is not all it’s cracked up to be, and we still can’t relate to our characters. Producers still don’t care about the female character and only have her there as the token girlfriend/love interest/sex object, but are now afraid to make them look stupid so they are bland, have no personality, but a whiny or bitchy attitude – a caricature of a feminist.

Trust me, I agree it’s weird that most comedy films are male-centered and about immoral, pea-brained, gross-out dudes dating pretty, intelligent, confident women. What message is this sending us? If someone that attractive and together can’t find anyone better to date than a flatulent, philandering man-child, what can the majority of us expect from the male population? So you win – it’s a horrible image of men voiced in the tune of a schoolyard chant. The only hope is in knowing that these are extreme caricatures of men being made by men and watched by a male audience. If you are being oppressed by it you should take it up with the guys and not blame women, who tend to distance themselves from that material and prefer to watch idealized prince charmings of “chick flicks.” Honestly, do you think we want to see a bachelor party film and imagine our boyfriends and husbands getting drunk and fooling around with other women? Or see male incompetence accepted as the rule (we like men, we fuck men, we fall in love, marry and have children with men — we don’t want men to be stupid or we are even stupider for investing our time, minds and hearts on them!).

On Violence: Who are killing these young men? Who are they killing? These are usually boys and men who were not taught how to be a good, honest man by their father, or their father is unavailable to them. They try to find their masculinity through physical tests, dangerous or unlawful activity, or their ability to force their will on others (often women and younger or weaker men). Again, men need to be involved with their sons and teach them right from wrong. Our current culture would mock a boy who openly looked up to his mother (“mama’s boy” anyone?), and until women are truly seen as equals to be respected, boys often need a positive male role model… someone to say “I’m a strong, confident, good-hearted, honest and responsible person. I’m a man like you will be one day. One day you can be like me.” When fathers aren’t around to teach their kids how to be a good person, they will likely be taught by their mother. In a culture that sees women as the “other,” some boys might see kindness, education, and honesty as things their mom achieved but they innately cannot, as they are not female, and perhaps they are in a poor neighborhood with preexisting male crime, and gravitate toward that. It’s self-perpetuating until fathers decide to be responsible parents to their kids.

On Family: Why are men generally not as involved in the family? Gender roles ascribe them to be the breadwinner – certainly not “disposable” – but men are often not taught to be involved in social matters with the family and let the wife handle it. It would be better if parents equally spent time with the kids, but that’s difficult with the typical family structure and child raising duties are given to the wife by tradition rather than necessity. Perhaps if we continue to strive for equality (not matriarchy or patriarchy), love, and understanding, future generations will have a more even amount of time with their parents.

On Fear: Men are physically bigger and stronger — posing a more obvious threat. Media has emphasized women’s weaknesses making them seem less dangerous though this assumption is certainly not always accurate, just as a large man may be kind and a small man may be a serial killer, looks can be deceiving.

On Help: Help those in need, but be cautious of strangers (man or woman – either could have a gun). Don’t let strangers in your house or car (or go into a stranger’s house or car)– offer to call someone for them or a police officer to assist them if they don’t have a phone. You can’t be too careful these days.

On Suicide: Why do you think men die from suicide? They are taught that expressing their sadness and insecurities is weak and akin to (horror of horrors) women. They feel uncomfortable seeking help for fear of being seen as weak. They hold back their emotions for fear of being seen as feminine (that’s bad.. no, the worst). Their friends don’t know how to comfort them, because in theory they would never encounter such a situation. Men are not getting the help they need to get through difficult times (trouble at school, pressure to be successful, pressure to be a sexual expert, break-ups, or loss of a loved one). If men and women begin to embrace the fact that men have feelings and feelings are human, perhaps men will no longer feel they have to suffer in silence.

I don’t think men are considered less important by any stretch. Men are just feeling the repercussions of their forefathers’ hate and fear. Older women and non-whites resent the repression and patronization of decades passed, and young men who had no part in their oppression are taking offense at the crones in the pulpits who are obviously not talking about them. Certainly these vocal extremists who speak of man as if he were the devil must be put back on their meds and into their padded cells (as should their misogynist counterparts), but assuming *all* women think like this is the same small-minded childishness that led these man-hating beasts into creation. Denounce THEM not all females. Be bigger than them. And by all means raise awareness to laws you find unfair. But do so in a pro-humanity way, not “us versus them”. That’s a Hitler tactic and you’ll only win nut-jobs who don’t care about the issue so much as an excuse to justify their irrational fear and hatred of other human beings.

Bottom line: Everyone needs to stop fussing. There are 2 body options (in most cases) and we have no control over which we’re born into. Let’s just accept that and try to be supportive of each other. We really are not that different.

http://aagriots.org/kentucky/Breathitt/1860ss.htm

Ben had told me about this (Thomas, G.W.’s first cousin). Perhaps our cousin from the Sunshine State didn’t know this or made presumptions about the two workers G.W. had late in life.

Love,

April